Today, our mission, if you choose to accept it, is to reacquaint/introduce everyone to MLA formatting, rewrite our memoirs again, and peer review! peer review! peer review!
But first, a word from our sponsor:
Group Project for Today:
Take this Excerpt from the Douglas Coupland's Life After God and format it correctly, using MLA. Use your book or other resources to help you in your goal. Make a list of your changes and be prepared to present it in front of the class.
Peer Review:
Why Should We Do It?
Grading Rubric for this Assignment
Peer Review Assignment:
1. Get into groups of 3 and read your papers out loud (go elsewhere if you need to go elsewhere).
2. As people are reading, the other group members should take notes and prepare comments to make about the paper.
3. Allow your listeners to look at your paper after you are finished reading.
4. After they give you comments, make note of the comments and draft a paragraph blogpost about the comments. Make sure everyone reads the draft before you post it.
5. Post to the blog before Friday of this week to receive credit for your post.
6. Print out the final draft of your blog-post.
Hints to help you with your paper:
0. Memoir Examples are in your book, on Chapters 6 and 7. Also, if you look at The Moth or This American Life for audio examples.
1. Rewrite your paper. Don't just make corrections from what your fellow students have said. Re-type your paper in a new document so you can have "fresh eyes" on your own paper.
2. Read your paper backwards. This helps to narrow in on your concepts and figure out how everything is linked together in your paragraphs. It also helps with finding the rhythm of your paper.
3. Before you come to class, go over the checklist: Writing is Rewriting
Things you need in your Manila Envelope: (in descending order)
- Your Name, Class, and Project Number on the front of the envelope
- Your Final Paper
- Your Rough Draft (with a print out of your blogpost)
- Your Quizzes and Homeworks (including your Mind Map)
For Next Class:
READ: The Project 2 Handout and print it out
POST: The Comments from your Peer Review (as mentioned above)
WRITE: The final draft of your paper
BRING: an idea of the object you want to "define" for your next paper as well as a blanket/mat for next Wednesday's class.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Why MLA formatting?
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20 comments:
The Comments of my Peers:
*Need to tell the reader if I had "good" parents or not
*Correct my grammer
*Rework certain sentances to exclude some information
I really don't think I will use the first comment because, I don't have enough space! But I do want to go through and fix any of my punctuation and grammer mistakes.
Peer review: I was givin the advise to give more detail and try to set a sceen. Also I need more dialoge and to be careful on past and present wording.........Im going to take all of this advise and try to write a better paper!
In todays peer review my team members advised me that my memior could use a little more description in ceartain areas. I was also advised that i could elaborate a little more in reagards to the "big idea" of my memior itself. I'll take this into consideration and hopefully end up with a well rounded A paper.
During the reading of my memoir I actually did catch a few of my errors. My group members suggested I cut out a conversation from the memoir. I'm not sure if it'll have the same flow but I'll cut it out and see how it works. It was also suggested I write a little bit more detail in some parts. I'm already over my word count so I'll have to figure out how to do that one.
As my peers listened to my memoir, they suggested that I could:
1) Add more details so that the reader can visualize the moment
2) Make it a happier conclusion
3) Details need to flow more smoothly
I am taking all of this advise into consideration and will be a making all of the appropriate changes to make this the best paper I can.
I was mostly told to either cut back or condense the detail that I put into the story, considering that I was 400 words over the limit. There was a lot of unnecessary detail in the beginning of the story and stuff that could be rephrased better later in the story.
During the peer review, my group mates suggested that I should be more specific on communication technology I chose. I should give more details on how it actually influences my life now and how it is important for me now. I think, I will definitely use this advice and provide more details on the subject.
The people in my group suggested that:
-I should use more details
-add a conversation with quotations
-use spepcific names
-follow mla format
-correct grammer
The idea behind the paper was good with a good climax,and how it relates to me.
My peers didn't see any problems, but they did suggest how I could make it longer. I could elaborate on: the differences between middle and high school, my affinity for music, what I was like in middle school, and my surroundings during the high.
I plan on doing all of those other than what I was like in middle school. Hopefully, I will meet the word mark.
*cut down 500+ words
*leave out irrelevant detail
*make topic beter suit story
I needed to make the obvious cuts, i had to many words. the hard part was figuring out what detail, was in some way relevant, but not really needed. I shorted the paragraphs by taking out topics that slightly strayed away from the point. At the same time i was able to leave in alot of my origional detail.
I though i was going to be unhappy with the final outcome once i had cut it, but in all honesty i think i was able to find the heart of the subject.
My group suggested that I express more about myself in my memoir. I was too general in my details. I will reread and rearrange my thoughts. And try to be more personal.
I will need to come up with another title or my whole paper my change. I was trying to convey communication through technology but lost myself.
PEER REVIEW COMMENTS:
*Too formal
*Add more conversation
*Include more about my emotions
WHAT CHANGES I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO MAKE:
I will add more conversation and include more emotions in my final paper.
When i read my paper to the people in my group i did not get much feed back. I was over in my word count so they pointed out some things that were not important to the story. They also helped me with changing around some of my words to make things sound better. I feel as if the group project was helpful bevause i got more than one persons opinion.
My group suggested that I describe my family with less details. I need to use the stethoscope and scrubs as more of my focus item. I should be more specific about my details. I will definitely use all of this honest advice to rewrite my paper into something great. Thanks.
My group suggested that I make sure to had some sort of conflict to my story, this would help increase both interest and the amount of dialogue. They also suggested that I go back and rework the wording on a few sentences in order to make it sound more mature. I plan to follow both suggestions because my draft was a very rough draft and I knew that I had a lot of rewriting to do.
My group suggested a more focused climax. It was also suggested that I add a more detailed central story. All advice will be taken. Excuse me...much work to be done.
In my pear review, group members advised me to change the dialect in my paper to better fit into MLA format. Tonight I am going to look up the best way to do this.
The comments of my Peers:
*Need to reduce my paper from 2,065 words to 800 words.
*Take out irrevalant details and reduce my descriptive details.
*Remove all the extra Daddys' in my paper.
*Rewrite my conclusion to what lessons I have learned from my experiences.
It has been ruff gutting out my paper I have reduced my paper so far from 2,065 words to 1,200 and still gutting out my paper. I have left the specifc turmoils in my paper from my first car accident to my first speeding ticket. I did take out all the extra Daddys' and have left breif descriptive details. I rewrote my concluding essay and left it short and simple. Plus I am still gutting my paper LOL.
Why MLA format? This is a good question. It makes the information being read a whole lot easier for the reader and it looks very neat, organized and professional. I for one support the MLA format.
PEER REVIEW:
I thought that this was a good exercise for us to hear other opinions and feedback.
I was told that my memeoir rough draft was pretty good and I had the word installed in it instead of instilled.I'm going to stay in school. ;)
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